A year into their relationship, Jess and Nate got engaged next to the sea. “It was a golden, sandy beach – empty and secluded,” says Jess, 26. “It was just us two there, so it was really intimate.”
Except that the couple were actually hundreds of miles apart – role-playing their engagement in the video game World of Warcraft.
Nate, 27, was living just outside London, while Jess was in Wales. After meeting briefly at an esports event in Germany in March 2023, the pair developed a long-distance relationship, playing the game together “from the moment we woke up to the moment we went to bed”, says Nate.
The couple still play the game daily, even though they’ve been living together in Manchester since March 2024. They also know other couples who have found love through video games: “It’s a different way of meeting someone,” says Jess. “You both have such a strong mutual love for something already, it’s easier to fall in love.”
Nate agrees. “I was able to build a lot more of a connection with people I meet in gaming than I ever was able to in a dating app.”
The shift away from Dating apps
Nate and Jess are not alone. According to some experts, younger generations are moving away from dating apps, finding love in online spaces that were not originally designed for romance.
Hanging out online in communities based on shared interests or hobbies allows people to meet in a lower-stakes, less pressurised setting, rather than presenting themselves to a gallery of strangers. For many Gen Z individuals, simply engaging in activities they enjoy has become an alternative to swiping through profiles.
Since its inception with the launch of match.com 30 years ago, online dating has fundamentally altered how people form relationships. Around 10% of heterosexual couples and 24% of LGBT+ couples have met their long-term partner online, according to the Pew Research Center.
However, young people are increasingly turning off dating apps. According to a report published by Ofcom in November 2024, the UK’s top 10 dating apps saw a decline in users by nearly 16%. Tinder lost 594,000 users, Hinge dropped by 131,000, Bumble by 368,000, and Grindr by 11,000. Meanwhile, a 2023 study by Axios found that 79% of US college students and other Gen Z individuals were no longer regularly using dating apps.
The rise of Hobby-Based platforms
At the same time, platforms based around common interests are attracting more users. For example, the fitness app Strava now boasts 135 million users, with its monthly active users growing by 20% last year. Letterboxd, a platform where film fans share reviews, saw its community grow by 50% in the same period.
“People have always bonded over shared interests, but it’s been given a digital spin with these online communities,” says Luke Brunning, co-director of the Centre for Love, Sex, and Relationships at the University of Leeds.
Some hobby apps are even adopting social media-style features. In 2023, Strava introduced a messaging feature allowing users to chat directly. Many young users reportedly use this to flirt by liking running routes posted by someone they fancy. Strava says that one in five of its active Gen Z members has been on a date with someone they met through fitness clubs.
“[Online] fitness communities are becoming big places to find partners,” says Nichi Hodgson, author of The Curious History of Dating. She recounts how a friend of hers met his partner through a fitness club, and they now live together.
A similar trend applies to Letterboxd. With users including celebrities like Chappell Roan and Charli XCX, the platform is particularly popular among younger people. A survey of 5,000 users found that two-thirds were under 34. Letterboxd co-founder Matthew Buchanan states that several couples have met through the app, bonding over shared tastes in film.
Why Are people turning away from dating apps?
While dating apps initially seemed to offer “the illusion of choice” and an efficient way to meet partners, many users have found the experience frustrating. A Pew Research Center study found that 46% of dating app users reported their experiences as very or somewhat negative.
“Ten years ago, people were enthusiastic about dating apps, but now the Tinder model is dead among many young people,” says Hodgson. “They don’t want to swipe anymore.”
Brunning suggests that the game-like interface of many dating apps has become a turn-off. “Intimacy is made simple for you; it’s fun in the short term. But the more you play, the more you feel kind of icky.”
The COVID-19 pandemic may have played a role in this shift as well. According to Prof Brian Heaphy at the University of Manchester, dating apps evolved to function more like social media during lockdowns when physical meetups were not possible. While that trend did not persist post-pandemic, it gave users a taste of an alternative to the often transactional nature of dating apps.
“Those apps aren’t offering a commercialised form of romance, so they can seem more authentic,” says Heaphy.
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A new era for online dating
Despite the decline in user numbers, dating apps are not giving up. Hinge claims to be setting up a date every two seconds, while Tinder says a relationship starts every three seconds on its platform, with almost 60% of its users aged 18-30.
In response to changing trends, some dating apps are launching niche platforms based on shared interests, including fitness, veganism, dog ownership, and even facial hair appreciation.
Whether dating apps can successfully adapt remains to be seen, but for now, hobby-based platforms appear to be offering a more organic, pressure-free way for people to find meaningful connections.
