Parents must stop trying to be their children’s “friend” when it comes to mobile phone use, the Children’s Commissioner for England has warned, as concerns grow over excessive screen time among young people.
Dame Rachel de Souza, writing in The Sunday Times, urged parents to take a firmer stance on digital device usage, warning that handing over responsibility to professionals is not the solution. Her comments come as a recent survey revealed that nearly a quarter of children in England now spend more than four hours a day on internet-enabled devices.
“The temptation as a parent to give in to a child’s pleas is a real one,” Dame Rachel wrote. “A new smartphone, ignoring the nagging voice in your head that questions it, because ‘all my friends have one’, despite knowing how much time you spend on your own smartphone.”
She continued: “You are not supposed to be your child’s friend. Sometimes being the parent means making difficult decisions in your child’s long-term interests, no matter how loudly they disagree. They need you to give them love, understanding, support and boundaries.”
A YouGov survey commissioned by Dame Rachel’s office found that 23% of children aged eight to 15 are spending over four hours a day on screens, including phones, tablets, computers and gaming consoles. A further 25% reported spending two to three hours a day on such devices, while 20% said they spend three to four hours daily. The poll, conducted in March and April, highlights the extent of digital immersion among today’s youth.
Dame Rachel urged parents to be proactive in engaging with their children about what they are seeing online. “We need parents to feel confident having challenging conversations with their children about the things they see online,” she said. “That means creating an environment where children can speak about violent or sexual content without fear of their device being confiscated – because if not here, it will find them elsewhere.”
Her comments arrive amid ongoing debate surrounding the use of mobile phones in schools. Earlier this year, the Government issued non-statutory guidance to discourage phone usage during school hours. However, calls from the National Education Union (NEU) and Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch have reignited pressure for a statutory ban.
Dame Rachel, however, believes decisions on mobile phones should remain with school leaders. “Schools are only part of the solution,” she noted. “Head teachers have told me that despite their own policies, they remain deeply concerned about children’s safety online, because most of the time children spend on their phones is outside school hours when they are in their parents’ care.”
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A separate survey of over 15,000 state schools, commissioned by the Children’s Commissioner, suggests that the vast majority are already following phone restriction policies recommended by the Department for Education. The data showed that 90% of secondary schools and 99.8% of primary schools had policies in place to restrict phone use during the day. These include full bans, systems requiring students to hand in devices upon arrival, or strict rules about keeping phones out of sight.
NEU General Secretary Daniel Kebede has stated his personal view that a stronger stance should be taken by the Labour Government on restricting phones in schools. Last month, Ms Badenoch criticised the Government for opposing a Conservative amendment to the Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Bill, which would have made such a ban mandatory.
However, Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer dismissed the suggestion, arguing it was “completely unnecessary” because “almost every school” already has such policies in place.
As the debate continues, Dame Rachel’s message is clear: the fight to protect children from the harmful impacts of excessive screen time and inappropriate online content starts at home, with parents setting the tone. “If we are serious about protecting our children,” she said, “we have to look at our own behaviour.”
