There are a few conversations that sensible people know to avoid at the dinner table. Politics, religion, ex-partners—these are all ticking time bombs that can turn an evening into a battle zone. But there’s one debate that never fails to ignite a storm: motherhood and happiness.
Chappell Roan just walked straight into the fire.
Speaking on the Call Her Daddy podcast with Alex Cooper, the 27-year-old pop star didn’t hold back when the topic of motherhood came up:
“I don’t know a single person who is happy and has children, at this age.”
She went even further, saying:
“All of my friends who have kids are in hell. I have not met anyone who is happy or has light in their eyes who has a child under five. I have not met anyone who has slept.”
Cue outrage.
The backlash: A war between two factions
Predictably, Roan’s comments did not go down well with mothers. Older mums argued that her stance was damaging, especially given declining birth rates. One particularly furious commenter shot back:
“May the friendship of narcissistic childless women with no sense of loyalty ever find me.”
Another pointed out that a pop star shouldn’t be responsible for birth rates—that’s a job for politicians, not celebrities.
But here’s the real issue: Roan’s offhand remarks have ignited yet another war between two of the most defensive—and let’s be honest, annoying—subsections of society:
- Self-righteous childless women, and
- Die-hard, evangelising mothers.
Why do women keep fighting over this?
This isn’t a new debate. Childless women and mothers have been sniping at each other for decades, trying to prove that they made the right choice.
On one side, you have child-free women who—understandably—get defensive after years of being treated like they’re just going through a phase. How many women in their 30s and 40s have been asked, “So, have you changed your mind yet?” as if skipping motherhood is the same as skipping dessert?
But on the other side, there are plenty of mothers who believe their childless counterparts are simply missing something—as if they were born without the selflessness gene.
All of this hostility? It’s driven by one thing: fear.
Both groups are scared they made the wrong choice, so they become defensive. If you’re a mother who is exhausted, overworked, and longing for a moment of peace, it’s easy to resent the carefree, child-free lifestyle. And if you’re a child-free woman in your 40s, watching friends raise families, you might wonder whether you made the right call.
Has Chappell Roan really said anything new?
Roan isn’t the first woman to suggest that motherhood can be stifling. Radical feminist Shulamith Firestone famously argued in The Dialectic of Sex (1970) that feminism would never be fully realised until pregnancy itself was abolished.
This perspective has echoes in Roan’s comments—though hers feel far more reactionary than revolutionary. She’s not making an argument about systemic oppression. She’s simply saying that her friends look miserable.
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And, to be fair, she’s not exactly wrong. Anyone who has spent time around parents of young children knows they are often sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, and struggling to find balance. That doesn’t mean they regret having kids—it just means that raising tiny humans is hard work.
But here’s the real issue: why does this keep happening?
Why, in 2025, are we still seeing women turn on each other over this?
The only radical take left: Let people live
Roan is young, outspoken, and no stranger to controversy. Her views aren’t exactly nuanced, but that’s not her job—she’s a pop star, not a policy maker.
And let’s be honest: women tearing each other apart over personal choices is getting boring.
Want to be a mother? Great.
Want to stay child-free forever? Also great.
What isn’t great is feeling the need to constantly justify your life choices—especially to people who will never agree with you anyway.
Because, at the end of the day, the happiest people aren’t the ones debating motherhood on the internet. They’re too busy living their own lives—with or without children.
